An Inner Battle...

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Why, the most difficult question...

Pocas veces se tiene una respuesta a esa pregunta: ¿Por qué?

Si no se habla de algo méramente matemático o medible... es la pregunta más difí­cil de hacer, y de contestar.

Por ejemplo:

¿Por qué demonios hemos decidio, como humanos, tener un ego y hacerle más caso a este que a nuestro corazón?

¿Por qué nos aterra tanto la idea de no "quedar bien"?

¿Por qué decidimos sufrir si tenemos la felicidad a nuestro alcance?


Algunas respuestas son sencillas, pero una respuesta siempre llevará a una futura pregunta, como lo hacen los niños en la edad de las preguntas...tomando uno de mis ejemplos:

P: ¿Por qué nos aterra tanto la idea de no "quedar bien"?
R: Para no ser rechazados.
P: ¿Por qué no queremos ser rechazados?
R: Para no estar solos...
P: ¿Por qué?

...


¿Me explico? Tarde o temprano el cerebro humano no da para más. Nuestros egos no dan para más. Y se acaban las respuestas. Y es cuando la ciencia deja de ser la chingonería que creemos que es. Y cuando la fe y la espiritualidad toman el control.

El renunciar a tener todas las respuestas y el control de todo. El aceptar que solamente somos humanos y que somos perfectibles... y sobre todo, el renunciar a querer entenderlo todo.

No conozco a persona alguna que entienda cómo funcionan tanto las sutilezas del modelo del Neoliberalismo como las complejidades de la biologí­a molecular. A todo esto, no conozco como es que pasamos de ser simples aminoácidos hasta seres humanos.

Y creo que ese es el chiste... tenemos mente para resolver problemas. Pero esta mente también nos genera muchísimos mas. Sobre todo existenciales.

La curiosidad es eterna, pero hay que saber limitarla. Y más cuando se trata de otro ser humano.

Y como dice Covey:

"Antes de ser comprendido, comprenda."

Yo le añadirí­a una condición:

"Antes de ser comprendido, comprendase a sí­ mismo."

Por que quien se conoce a sí­ mismo, empieza a darse cuenta de que todos somos iguales, en el fondo, todos somos lo mismo.

Y dentro de nosotros están todas las respuestas.

Unasked Questions

Once I have felt her die,
Many times have I sensed her cry.
Answer me this,
Oh ignorant bliss:

Why did we chose to fall?
I believe we never did at all.
Why does she inflict her pain?
In my heart I have all to gain.

Doesn't she notice the light within?
Tainted by darkness, marked by sin.
What can de done to heal her?
Send your love in a whisper.

Why so beautiful? Why steal my breath?
To keep it meaningful, surpassing death.
Why should I live this? What should I feel?
So you can treasure the kiss, and learn how to heal.

How do I take her back from the night?
Love's the beacon, be a guiding light.
Why so much pain, so much frustration?
She has lost her path to ascension.

Not in a line I describe what I see,
The woman I love, longing to be...
So I send her my strength and my love,
Surrender my will, to The One Above.
----------
© Shadow Poet 2005.

In My Heart...

Yo sé que tuve que pasar por esa obscuridad. Para no regresar nunca más. Di unos pasos para atrás para tomar más vuelo.

Nada puede detenerme, pues evito a mis miedos, porque hay conocimiento.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passions, there is serenity.

There is no death, there is Him.

La amo... y eso es suficiente.

Memories...

(Esta entrada ha sido editada)

My wings....

Justo lo que sospechaba,

Con razón amo tanto los dragones...


Dragon Wings


What Kind of Wings are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Awakening...

Normalmente, la mayorí­a de las cadenas son chistes, peticiones de rescate de una niña perdida/secuestrada (muchas veces inexistente), engaños: "Microsoft te pagará 5 dólares por cada tarado que hagas creer que le vamos a pagar por reenviar este mail..." , jueguitos con la advertencia de que si no lo reenví­as, tu(s) pene/senos se caerá(n), un gato te mandará al hospital (la mí­a si puede matarte de ternura), Dios te castigará... y blah, blah, blah.


Pero esta cadena... esta cadena es una preciosura:

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that she is not Cinderella and you are not Prince Charming and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.

...


You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand
on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as
they are ...I'n Lakesh, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.

Y yo opino que nunca hay que dejar de dar amor... nunca.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You
learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or
important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK... and that it is your right to want things that you want. and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

Cierto.


And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

Ok, lo admito, ya comienzo a preocuparme mucho por como como. Y trato de descansar más...

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. And that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.


...

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.

Ese es uno de los Cuatro Acuerdos.

It's just life happening.

Reconozco que hay eventos externos que nos afectan, decisiones de un tercero que nos afectan. Sin embargo, no estoy de acuerdo 100% en esto, opino y me consta que muchas de las cosas es por que nosotros mismos las provocamos...

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

­...

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment are best understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of
you and poison the universe that surrounds you.


Las negritas decí­an: must be.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And
you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every
wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

-------

Me hizo darme cuenta de que varios están Despertando...o estaban Despiertos ya...

...

I'n Lakesh

Funny as hell....

Quien sabe cuánto tiempo durará esto.

Entren a Google.

Escriban "failure" (fracaso/fracasado) en la barra de búsqueda.
Den Click en "Voy a tener Suerte."

¡¡¡Justicia poética!!!


I'n Lakesh

Healing...

Bendita la mano de la Madre
Que cura las angustias con tocarte...

Oh si.... las cosas con mi madre han estado mucho mejores.

Una de las cosas que decidí­ que terminaran con el cambio.
La abrazo más seguido, hablo más con ella. Comparto.

Ya me recordó un par de trucos viejos, y estoy limpiando mis sentimientos negativos hacia ella.

Creo que en gran parte se debe a que estaba resentido (dentro de mis desmadres) con ella, por que no me terminó de entrenar... y ya caí­ en cuenta de que yo soy quien debe terminar el entrenamiento. Tanto Anakin como Luke antes de convertirse en Jedi tuvieron que terminar el entrenamiento solos. Uno se entregó al lado obscuro... otro casi lo hace, pero redimió la Galaxia.

Así­ que aquí­ estoy, sanando una herida autoinflingida... y en gran parte se lo debo a MC... que ella hace lo propio con su mamá, y eso me inspiró. Gracias, Eshi, me has dado una lección más. Tienes mi agradecimiento eterno por eso...

Y, solo para rematar, me encontré un poema de Kipling:

No Desistas
-Rudyard Kipling.

Cuando vayan mal las cosas,
Como a veces suelen ir.

Cuando ofrezca tu camino,
Solo cuestas que subir

Cuando tengas poco haber
Pero mucho que pagar.

Y prefieres sonreír
Aún teniendo que llorar

Cuando el dolor te agobie
Y no puedas ya sufrir.

Descansar acaso debes,
¡Pero nunca desistir!

Tras las sombras de la duda
Ya plateadas, ya sombrí­as,
Puede bien surgir el triunfo,
No el fracaso que temí­as.

Y no es dable a tu ignorancia,
Figurarte cuán cercano,
Pueda estar el bien que anhelas,
Y que juzgas tan lejano.

Lucha, pues por más que tengas,
En la vida que sufrir,
Cuando todo esté peór,
Más debemos insistir.
--------

Inspirador, ¿no?

No more backing down... o en otras palabras:"Never give up... trust your instincts..."

Je....
El poder de los videojuegos.

I'n Lakesh

Enough is enough

Basta...

Con esas palabras cambió todo mi ser...

Ya dejé a un lado mi Ira... o estoy en proceso de hacerlo.

No más inseguridades... no más defenderme de todo y de todos.

Hasta mis colores cambiaron.

Adoro el color negro, sí­, pero ya no es el color con el que me identifico.... ok eso sonó chistoso. El caso es que el negro ya no es lo que me define, ¡solo es el color de mis ojos!

Sigo siendo gótico hasta decir basta, pero ya no depresivo... bueno ok, hoy me deprimí­ mucho, pero eso no importa, tuve mis razones.

Prefiero vestirme de negro que de... verde... pero no por que me refugie en el. No más.

Creo que estoy creciendo.

Mas bien ya me dejé de pendejadas.

Ahora tengo tantas cosas por hacer, que no sé ni por donde empezar.

I'n Lakesh.